Alexander Graham Bell, I Want To Have Your Love Child

by Linda Carson

Alexander Graham Bell was commissioned by director Dave Cheoros to tour the Canadian Fringe Festival circuit in the summer of 1993. (I think Dave's now running the Edmonton Fringe, and I'm not surprised.) AGB is a one-act, sketch-based comedy for three nimble actors, one male and two female. It's all about how technology ain't necessarily the key to improving communication.

Alexander Graham Bell opens with a monologue explaining Canadian Content regulations for the benefit of American and other tourists. This introduces the use of the CanCon meter, a flashing sign that alerts foreigners to any jokes based on obscure Canadian content, so they know when to laugh politely with the rest of the crowd.

It's light and fast and remarkable angst-free for a Fringe show. It hits car phones and satellites, telephone solicitation and phone sex with equal comic fervour, then throws in a song or two to keep things loose.

Of course, Linda Carson holds the copyright on this script and she'd be forced to take bold action if you used it without permission or claimed it as your own. Contact me by emailing lccarson@bigblackpig.com if you want to perform this or any of my plays.